A Partnership Close to Home

Have you ever worked with or thought about working with your spouse in your business? There are a lot of benefits to doing this. When you are both on the same page striving for the same goals, you can accomplish those goals much quicker. You have someone you know that will show up, care about what they are doing, and you don’t have to worry they will screw you over. You have someone where you can just be yourself even when having a bad day. That is just a few of the benefits.

Unfortunately, most couples never see these benefits because they quickly learn that working with your spouse can also be extremely difficult if not feeling impossible to do. To make matters worse, if you are struggling with each other at work, it will almost always affect your homelife as well. So not only will your business suffer but your personal life can become miserable.

Many couples attempt to work together and then quickly decide against it figuring they just didn’t work well together and it would be best to work separately.

I understand this because my wife Kim and I started working together every day in our real estate business back in June 2002. When we first started, we had our challenges and it affected both our business and our marriage. However, rather then giving up and quitting we decided we needed to find a way to make this work. Now almost 20 years later after spending almost every day together, we are enjoying the benefits.

Along the way we discovered and created very specific habits and systems that allowed us to overcome those challenges most couples face and not only survive but thrive in our business without it effecting our personal life. Here are what I believe are the four best things we learned that any couple can also do to thrive as well.

The first is understanding that there can only be one person in charge. Things can be discussed and considered but at the end of the day one person must make the final decision if there is not an agreement. Discuss this up front and decide who is that person in advance. One of you must be willing to accept the other is in charge if it comes down to it. For us, I had a business background already, so it was agreed that I was the final decision maker when needed and this prevented a lot of arguments.

The second thing that I believe must be done is to openly discuss and agree what are each of your strengths and build your roles within the business from that. For example: I am more of the business bottom line person, and it is either done or it is not done and everything else is an excuse, so I am good at getting final results. Kim is more of the personal relationships and is really good at creating the family atmosphere where they feel like valued members of a team rather than just there to perform a job.

We use both of our strengths in our business to our advantage. When we are overseeing multiple projects with multiple contractors it is very easy for us to play good cop, bad cop. I can go in and demand results while Kim goes in and strengthens the relationships which then to them softens my demands. We are now able to get the results needed while always maintaining that valued family atmosphere.

What are your strengths and what are your spouse’s strengths? Sit down and discuss them to determine your roles in the business that allow each of you to do what you do best. Combining your natural strengths can fast forward your business very quickly.

The third thing is to make sure along the way you both acknowledge and appreciate each other on those strengths so each of you understand not just your role but the value your spouse brings to the business. Acknowledge each other when the other is performing their strengths.

Could both of you individually play all roles? Absolutely. However, by allowing each of you to use our natural strengths together you become much stronger! For us there are times when I feel Kim is too soft and she feels I am too harsh with the contractors but we both understand we have our roles and together we create the perfect combo and best overall results for the business. We know this and are grateful and thankful for the other. How can you and your spouse not just combine your strengths but how do you acknowledge and recognize them?

A challenge that couples face is that the business can quickly consume the entire relationship. Before you know it every minute of every day is now thinking and discussing business. This is a quick sure-fire way to destroy a marriage.

To ensure this does not happen, the fourth thing you must do is to create designated time periods where business is not allowed. This is family time only. It is up to you to decide how much and when that time is but there must be time periods throughout the week where it is agreed and understood by both parties that no business is allowed during that time.

For example, Kim and I take every Friday off, so we have a rule that every Friday from 12 noon on no business is allowed. This includes no email, no phone calls, no discussions, etc. This is our time to focus on us and family. In fact, we alternate Fridays on who is in charge of what we do that day. This makes it easy on both of us so we aren’t trying to figure out what to do and can somehow end up talking about business. Whoever is in charge that Friday determines what we do. I encourage you to try this out as this was one of the best things we ever did in our marriage and remove the focus from business to us.

You want all the benefits of working together without the headaches and hassles that can destroy a marriage then give the four suggestions a try. Hopefully they allow you and your spouse to be together 24/7 365 days a year for the next 20 years thriving in both business and marriage.